I am Alex Maloney and I am a taxi driver in Burton on Trent.  I have been married to Lydia for 36 years and we have 4 children.

I have been a Christian for 25 years and God has used me in many ways over that time period, from taking me into ministry as a pastor, to being a youth leader for the last 15 years; from traveling over the UK in the mid 80’s, preaching on the dangers of rock music, to planning major town-wide events. All different, and all with their own testimony.

But it is the sustaining power and grace of God that I want to share with you, and how He brought me through the loss of my second son.  Sandy was 23 and half when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer in late 2000.  It was a blow that rocked our family sideways.  Lydia and I were strong Christians, active in our church and known in our area as such.  Over the years I had been tested by God in many areas especially spiritual warfare, but nothing was going to test us the way that cancer was going to.

All parents, right or wrong, do have their favourite children and it would be silly to deny that Sandy and I had a very close relationship.  He was a drummer by profession, and had started drumming at the age of 9.  He very quickly progressed to playing in church, accepting Jesus as his saviour around the age of 11, he became a recognized and talented player among church musicians.  This was balanced with an equal enthusiasm for playing in brass bands.  He eventually reached his dream and became a full-time professional musician working on the holiday camps and cruise liners.  But Sandy’s testimony is a story all of its own, and one that brought me to salvation but that’s for another time.

How does a dad deal with a phone call that shatters your world, and then drive home knowing that the news you have is going to hurt the ones you love most?  The ones you have sworn to protect and who look to you to be the strong one in the family.  I wish I could detail all that happened that afternoon, but I can’t because even now, 9 years after the event, it is still a blur.  I do know that, following that phone call, I pulled into a layby and prayed like I had never prayed before.  I knew, from past experience, that what my family was about to go through could not be faced by our human strength alone.  I knew that God, and God alone, would have to give me the strength I needed to complete that journey and say the words I had to say.  It was He who guided my car home, as vision through my tear filled eyes was virtually impossible.  It was He who gave me the strength and courage to get out of the car and enter the house, and it was He who gave me the words to say.

How had we got to this point?  Well, Sandy had been working at a holiday park for the summer and had been home for a few weeks following the end of season but before going off on a cruise working as a drummer with a band. ,While at home he had complained about back ache, but such bad back ache that it forced him to lie down on the floor to get relief.  Eventually the pain drove him to the local GP who diagnosed work-related back pain, due to Sandy being a drummer; they have terrible posture when playing, with little or no back support.  Sandy left home to join his ship in Hull, ready to go on a short turn-around cruise, but such was his pain and inability to keep down food that he was phoning me to see if we could find him a GP up in Hull that he could visit.  A friend of his in the band suggested he go to A&E at the hospital in Hull.  This he did, and phoned me later to say he was worried because the doctor was talking about an aneurism in the main artery running from his thigh up through his body.  The next phone call I got was from a friend of his telling me that Sandy had been diagnosed with testicular cancer and that Sandy was so shocked that he had asked him to ring me.  That phone call was the beginning of 18 months of sheer dependence on God.

Sandy used to joke about writing his story and calling it, rather tongue in cheek, “To Hull & Back”. Well, without the hand of God on our lives, I am sure that’s exactly what it would have been.

I was running a textile business at this time and already working long hours to keep it going, but now I had to fit in many hours of traveling to Birmingham hospital with Sandy undergoing his chemo.  He underwent several operations and each time it fell to me to keep my family strong through all the highs and lows of his treatment.  God sustained me in physical strength and in spiritual strength, through the many long hours sitting with Sandy on the ward, talking with doctors and still earning a living.  God was always at the centre, proving His promise that He would never leave us, not even to the ends of the earth!

Our church was fantastic in their support, loving us constantly, always there to help, giving their time, their finances and their prayers.  This too was God proving His love.

The long months stretched out and it seemed we were constantly chasing the cancer around his body.  I would try not to get too excited when we got a good blood result, knowing that the next one would dash our hopes, but we had got to a point where we seemed to be watching blood results every day.

My trust in God never wavered, I knew He was in control and that all things were under His authority.  I had never experienced such faith it was immovable, and unshakeable.  I wish I could say the same thing about my emotions.  I discovered that it is OK to have unshakeable trust in God and still cry out in pain.  Faith, trust and belief in God does not, and should not turn you into a block of stone.  I felt I was a strong man in God, and learnt that I was strong enough to be weak in Him, to allow Him to hold me and comfort me and in doing that, strengthen me, so I could support others.

My new knowledge of myself was soon to be tested, as Sandy’s condition suddenly worsened and the cancer spread to his brain.  I then had to watch as my talented son struggled to string a sentence together, and hands that once flew around a drum kit bringing pleasure to thousands and to God Himself, now couldn’t even keep a simple 4 beat.  Many a time I had to cradle him in my arms as his body was racked by fits that threatened to end his life there and then.  I often asked myself “Where does this amazing strength to deal with all this keep coming from”, I knew it wasn’t me, it could only be the gift from God.

Sandy lost his fight with cancer in March 2002, he had turned 25 in the February of that year, and had fought a valiant fight, inspiring many, and helping many.  But as I said right at the beginning of this testimony, his story is totally something else.

In all that time I came to realize that God, and God alone, is the author of our lives; He decides who, and when, He will call home.  Without Him I dread to think where my family and I would be today.  Certainly not in the place we are.

I thank God for Sandy, the instrument of my salvation through Jesus Christ, and through that knowledge I know we shall be reunited one day soon.

My desire is to help those who go through a similar crisis to realize that Christ is the answer to our many problems and through Him, and only Him, can we be assured of our salvation and the sure and unshakeable truth that we will reign forever with Him in Heaven.

If you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, then you need Him today! 

If you face a crisis now or in the future, then put yourself in the hands of the one who can and does control all things.